Call Me Kylo

“Shall we begin like David Coperfield? “I was born, I grew old''? Or shall we begin when I was born into darkness, as I call it?”

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Backstory

|| TW: violence, blood, gore. ||

I was an arrogant young man. I thought I owned New Orleans, the women fell at my feet and I used them and discarded them as if they were nothing. Drunken nights where my routine, day or night, did not matter. I was the heir of my family, the only son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, the patriarchs of the Skywalker family after my grandparents passed.

Did I care? No, I didn’t.

I was betrothed to another wealthy daughter, Jannah, my father’s business partner’s daughter, but the Calrissian’s were family to us, and our parents had betrothed us before we were even born. Our mothers excited to unite the families finally through us. Our fathers thinking ahead of time, thinking about the wealth and the position the Calrissian’s would have in New Orleans. Jannah and I couldn’t care less.

I grew up with Jannah, we saw no money back then, no position in society, she was my friend, that’s all I saw. we would play for hours, uninterested if time moved at all or if it was getting late. Just two children enjoying each other’s presence, growing alongside each other. We knew each other so well, thick and thin we were together, I was at least a few months older than Jannah, something I always teased her about and she was unafraid to put me in my place.

My grandfather gifted my grandmother scorpion grasses, or Myosotis, whichever you’ll like to call them. She made sure the compound was surrounded by these small blue flowers, they were everywhere. Jannah and I would run through them every Sunday, it was the same flower I gifted her once, the one I used to promise her our friendship was forever. She was my confidant, my shoulder to lean on and she always knew exactly what to say whenever I asked her for advice.

But when I needed her words the most, I didn’t listen to her.

My arrogance grew with the money I had, the more money, the more I spent. Bets, alcohol, whores... I was nothing to be proud of, just a young man who thought himself immortal, who thought he had all the time in the world. And Jannah was always there for me, through and through, always making sure I was ok, looking out for me. I didn’t deserve her love.

I didn’t deserve her.

That’s when I met the Mikaelson’s, Nicklaus befriended me one night, we related in our self destructive behaviors, we were the new menace of New Orleans, always causing some kind of trouble. My tendencies lead to only more trouble, to owe people money but I thought nothing of it at the time, I had enough money to pay them, but I never did and it’s a decision that will haunt me forever.

After yet another night of well spent money and alcohol I was stumbling down the street when they intercepted me. They were warning me about the money I owe, they said I had to pay up or they would destroy me. “We will rip your heart out” they threw at me and I laughed at their words, I thought they were being dramatic, I laughed.

“I dare you” I remember saying through the laughter, laughter that didn’t last long.

First blow was to my jaw and I fell to the ground with a stud, they kicked my stomach, they kicked my face, someone took a crowbar and broke my kneecaps, my nose was broken. Within minutes I was a broken mess on the floor, blood had splattered into my eyes, leaving me half blinded, I could barely see, I couldn’t move. That’s when they brought her.

She fought herself out of their grip, immediately running to my blooded mess “Ben! Ben by the gods look what they’ve done to you...” Jannah’s delicate hands held my bruised face, her eyes so warm, so worried, I hated making her worried but I never stopped. They pulled her away from me before I could say a word, I tried to reach for her but my body was broken. But the pain I was in didn’t compare to the heartache I was gonna get.

The cowards had to slap her, she wouldn’t stop fighting them, even when they had a knife by her throat. I saw them rip the neck of her light peach dress, her favorite, I saw them expose her chest only to stab her through the heart, and she screamed. I’m sure a gasp escaped my lips, no matter what I couldn’t move. They made sure she felt everything they did, every excruciating sound from the knife and her skin and that wet noise of her blood, noises I’ll never forget, and her screams began to quiet down until there were none.

“There’s your heart...” they said as they threw her heart at me. Her lifeless body just beside me after they dragged it there. “Jan-“ I could barely speak, my whole body was shaking, aching, the pain I was in, the agony... I crawled closer to her, my trembling hands trying to fix this, put her heart back together, I was trying to beg her to come back to me, I was trying to tell her that I loved her, that I wanted to marry her, I was asking her to stay with me please stay with me... no words came out, only mumbles and whispers until I was lying there, with her. Awaiting my own death.

“Benjamin...” the echo of Elijah Mikaelson’s voice is all I heard, my eyes barely open, I had no idea how long have I’ve been out or how long had it been, but I felt numb from the waist down, and I could barely feel anything at all. I felt something on my lips, skin, and then a strong irony taste, it was blood but... it felt stronger. “drink up Benjamin...” were the last words I heard before my heart gave in, with his blood in my system I faded to nothingness.

Birds, singing on the balcony just outside the doors I was in, the sun was not in, the blinds made sure of that. This was my house but... something wasn’t right... this was my room but something felt different. I could smell everything, the dust on every surface or the tea my mother was bringing, the scent of my mother’s perfume, she was walking up the stairs, which were not even near my bedroom door. The Myosotis outside in the garden, the scent was so strong like the doors to my balcony were wide open.

Weirdest thing, I could feel my legs, I could feel no pain, no ache, my nose was perfect, I could breathe, I could see... it felt like a dream but it wasn’t, I was alive but at what cost. My mother told me Elijah had found me and Jannah, that I was unconscious and covered in her blood, that they had drugged me and had killed her over some petty bar fight. That was all a lie and how could I tell my mother the reason the love of my life was dead was because I was a coward, an arrogant fool.

I swallowed the truth for years, swearing I wouldn’t bring more pain than my family already had. When I was 22 my mother had already gone through the misfortune of a miscarriage, Twins, if I told her the truth she would lose me, she would hate me... and she should but it would be more selfish to make her suffer because of my stupidity. So I never told her, not even on her death bed. She died first, old age you see, and she left with dignity and grace, like the important woman that she was in New Orleans. My father couldn’t take the heartbreak of losing her, he died of a heart attack only hours after she did, one of those death by heartbreak.

They were both buried in the family’s cemetery which was just a few meters from the compound. My grandparents, my unborn siblings, Jannah, my parents, the cemetery was beginning to pile up, and while one by one died, I lived on, never changing, never aging, only living. Elijah had explained to me what happened. I died with his vampire blood already in my system, that wasn’t what he intended but my body was already infected and I was dying. Now I was immortal, forever frozen in time.

Years of neglectful treatment left the Skywalker compound in ruins, nature took over, and I let it happen, a spot frozen in time like I was, memories filled the walls, paintings that have somehow survived time, and there they were still, not just my family’s final resting place but the forget me not’s, the Myosotis my grandmother has made sure where the staple of the Skywalker family, still surrounding what was left of the compound.

400 years, and I’m still here, the last Skywalker, the last Amidala, the last Solo, the last Organa. Here he stands, frozen in time.

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• Bessy: @hambyjessy
• Reylo: @homovehementi